Amandla Stenberg
October 15, 2019

Amandla speaks with her friend, photographer Zoé Lawrence, about love, friendship, and queerness.

Zoé Lawrence: How did you come up with the concept for this shoot?

Amandla Stenberg: I was looking through some of my big sister’s old photo books and was struck by the glamour shots she used to take with her best friends and cousins at the 23 minute photo studio on Crenshaw in South LA where we grew up. They called it that because of the shoots were impressively efficient but I can’t confirm that they actually took 23 minutes. My sister has given me many gifts – vigilance, the art of not giving a fuck, loyalty, and how to laugh at yourself. But last and certainly not least: how to rock a tank top hunny. I wanted to honor her by recreating her photos from teendom while referencing her style. I also wanted to use the opportunity to perform facets of self. I don’t often have the opportunity to do that, but DRØME was so cool to offer me a platform to do whatever I wanted by affording me full creative control.

Z: How do you think you are growing into your identity when it comes to gender and sexuality at this point in your life?

A: For a long time, especially growing up in the public eye, I felt that ascribing to certain ideals of femininity was a non-negotiable part of my career path as an actress. It’s hard to know how you want to present yourself when you’re a kid, but then you factor in being primed and prepped and put into pink dresses by adults who are just doing their jobs and aren’t necessarily thinking about a 12 year old’s “gender expression”… [laughs] When the exploration of gender even dawned on me as an option, I was about 15. As a teenager I actually felt comfortable identifying as genderqueer way before I felt comfortable identifying as gay. There was a sweet spot around that time where I started to understand how to make my outside feel like my inside in a way that was not conscious of sex. That was before I experienced various stages of refutation of my sexuality, which made me feel nervous about presenting as anything other than femme.

When I first came out however, I felt the need to persistently declare it through my presentation, my language, my movement. The genderqueer leapt! I think I kind of felt like there was a Right Way to be queer and I needed to prove that I was a Real Gay by mostly presenting masc. I now know that there is absolutely no definitive praxis for being queer and that thinking there is one is kind of the antithesis to queer ethos. That’s the nature of identity I suppose. We over assert when we discover, and then we find balance and truth. Now I feel pretty comfortable presenting however the hell I feel like which spans a large spectrum of gender.

Z: It definitely seems like you’re comfortable.

A: I’m lucky to learn from my peers. I am very blessed to be surrounded by such a vibrant spectrum of humans. Within our friend group, there aren’t any rules to follow that dictate how you should express your queerness, or if you’re “queer” enough. It just feels really accepting and diverse. The amazing people I get to be around are so uncompromising in themselves.

Z: I definitely agree. Our friend group has [taught] me to be more vulnerable and open with my identity. Trying to be truthful to yourself but also not really knowing who you are just yet can be really tough. It doesn’t feel like I have to stay the same or be constant with how I present myself. If I do want to try something new, there’s always a flood of support, love and deep appreciation from our friends. My friends bring me closer to myself in that I see a lot of myself in them, and I also see who I want to become. I gravitated towards you because I feel like I can be myself around you. We’re constantly learning when we are together which is really nice and really, really fun. We have the safety to be able to try shit out, you know? It can feel so dangerous to get outside of yourself, so being able to do that with you, makes it feel really safe and free.

A: Aw damn! Most definitely. It is so special to feel safe enough to try out new ways of being.

Z: I agree. Is this our first time working together?

A: Yes madame, this is our first time “officially” working together. You’ve definitely been taking pictures of me for a minute though.

Z: But it’s been pretty relaxed.

A: Taking pictures with you doesn’t feel invasive at all. It feels authentic and you [capture] really special memories the way you engage with people. It never feels like, “Everybody stop! I’m taking a picture.” [Laughs] There is a romanticism that you carry about life that translates to the way you take pictures and it makes your photos feel apart of the memory that is already being created.

Z: Thank you. That’s very sweet. I think that came out on this set. It was nice to have friends on this shoot. It created a pretty relaxed environment without too much pressure.

A: I mean there was a little bit of pressure [Laughs].

Z: Your boss bitch came out for sure, which I appreciate! It’s nice to see you transform and step up to the plate.

A: You’re always like, “I love when you become a bitch!”

Z: [Laughs] I fuck with it, honestly. It’s fire. I’m hoping in the future we can do more projects like this. Let’s​ ​talk about your music.

A: Okay word. I’ve loved music since I was little. I have always played instruments, I’ve played violin since I was very tiny. Growing up my mom was in the church choir and my dad was a singer songwriter. For a while I thought that I wasn’t capable or worthy of making my own music-

Z: I think a lot of people have that fear.

A: Yes. So I stopped putting pressure on myself for it to be anything in particular, and started looking at it as what it is – fun, therapeutic and expressive. I feel like that’s also how you make the best music. Now it’s definitely something I turn to when I want escapism, reflection, and an emotional outlet.

Z: I agree. I really love your music, I love your voice!

A: Thank you! I’ve been working on my voice a lot and gaining more confidence in it. I truly believe that you can do anything when you practice and believe in yourself. I’m also having a lot of fun learning how to program.

Z: What program are you using right now?

A: Logic. It’s been really fun. Women are so discouraged from producing, it’s so dumb. I’m having a grand old time! [Laughs] I am slowly working my way towards feeling comfortable sharing my music. Right now I’m really valuing it for how it makes me feel. [It’s important for me] to have an artistic expression that there’s no pressure on and no expectation for. Being an actor is how I make money and so inherently because that part of my artistry has been commodified I can’t help but imagine the voyeur in my process sometimes. For now, I don’t have that with music. That all being said… I shall be dropping some shit.

Z: I think that’s why I also started making music. The same way how acting for you feels not just like an art form but a job, photography has definitely got to that point for me where it’s not as fun. But music is so direct. It is exactly what you are feeling in the moment, which I love.

A: It is such a beautifully direct form of expression.

Z: It’s so cool to go back to the songs and beats that you make because they’re kind of like markers and bookmarks of your everyday experience. Since we’re talking about music what do you think about the new FKA Twigs right now?

A: I had an FKA Twigs poster in my bedroom up on the ceiling above my bed when I was 14. Not to be that person who is like, “I liked it before it was cool” but deadass when her Two Weeks video dropped, that changed my whole world, seeing the way that she utilized different mediums to express so much and in such an emotional and otherworldly way. I love Twigs so much and it is really cool to see her continue to push boundaries. She is one of the artists that I respect the absolute most. She never stops pushing, she never stops challenging herself. The fact that she learned to pole dance phenomenally for this video is so wild.

Z: We definitely stan.

A: We stan big time.

Z: What are some of your favourite albums or projects that just dropped?

A: I have been listening to Solange’s new record [​When I Get Home]​ and watched the visual album of course, which was completely arresting and phenomenal. I have been listening a lot to Grace Ivez, a New York based artist who makes really amazing, catchy pop. Her lyrics smack hard for me. I have been listening to a lot of Nipsey and thinking more deeply about what he was saying, reflecting on what he meant to Crenshaw and to my family and community. Who else have I been listening to… Alice Coltrane. And Janet [Jackson].

Z: Fire. I’m always so intrigued by your love life and I’m sure a lot of people are… So, how do you ask these hunnies out?

A: Are you really about to do this to me right now?

Z: We wanna know!

A: I think my tactic is pretty simple, for the most part I’m just like, “Can I take you out to dinner?”

Z: I like that. You’re forward. I respect that. Being a woman, I don’t respond well to game and pick up lines, I respond to someone being straight up with me, and kind and sweet about it. But not in a whole, tryna bag me kind of way. So that’s how I approach asking a girl out, which honestly for the most part, works… Almost every time! Shit.

A: Yeah it does. I don’t think I would even know how to spit game.

Z: Man, I be spittin game though, I’m not gonna lie about it. It’s just fun to exercise it every once in a while.

A: I definitely be flirting. But I’m not like spitting game. I’m a softie.